I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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