theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
