i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Randomize
