he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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