Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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