so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize