im having a threesome with these popsicles
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
