batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
and you said cock pushups were impossible
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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