you traded sex for a burrito?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
