is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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