you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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