Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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