***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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