Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
