I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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