Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
