My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
