we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
