Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
