People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
