turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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