our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
