bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
