I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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