He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i drank out of a bidet.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
