Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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