It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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