so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
