I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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