I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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