theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
