I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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