They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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