my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?