dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Your dad touched me again.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
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we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
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Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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