watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue