yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings