i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
