So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
