Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
That reminds me...we need to get swords
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
