Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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