Sry I called you an 8
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
