he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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