What did we do last night that was yellow?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
