Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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