If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
