adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
