I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
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