hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
