weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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