For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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