I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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