Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
