I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
