after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Your cock deserves a montage
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
