Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
