didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
