You're completely useless in the revolution.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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