Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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