and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
