I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we're making bets on your personal life
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
